As America's #1 trusted social media critic, I feel it is my duty to comment on Facebook's recent decision to let people create their own personal Facebook groups.
Mark Zuckerberg claims this new feature is a boon to privacy, but I see it as a boon to fervent and deliberate discrimination.
Because while we were once obligated to broadcast our everyday YouTube ruminations to absolutely everyone in our social networks, we are now able to pick and choose who's actually worth our spit, and privatize our content for their eyes only.
And so I say.
A new middle school model's taking over social networking, where "You're Cool/You're Definitely NOT Cool" Clubs are opening and closing their doors to millions of good people across the globe.
This really didn't occur to me until my newsfeed revealed that a girl I had gone to elementary school with had recently been inducted into a new group called the "Fabulous 4." Fabulous 4? Where was I in this equation?
Surely, I'd just missed the memo ...
I clicked upon the link, expecting to be greeted by a choir of animated squirrels (Oh how I miss you, Blue Mountain Ecards) welcoming me into the group as its fifth, long-lost member.
But that's not what happened. That's not what happened at all.
Because when I clicked upon the link, I received some kind of message telling me that the "Fabulous 4" was actually a closed group ... that if I knew what was best for me, I'd get my sorry little ass out of there before someone from administration came over and pointed out my shortcomings until I just went ahead and slit my throat.
Is the new Facebook confusing, like getting your period for the first time?
Is it good that people can now privatize their content ... so that racists - and other misunderstood populations - can now create focused groups(Have you gotten the invite to mine yet? It's called "RACISTS PSEUDO-ANONYMOUS")without getting so much public flack?
Will anything on the Internet ever go viral again if Facebook just becomes millions of secret societies?
Is this blog a complete ripoff of "Hipster Runoff," and should Carles sue Carly for all she's worth (approx. $1k)?
I'm not sure, but I've reactivated my Myspace account and burned off all my fingerprints just in case.
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