"AFFECTION"

Sometimes I wish I had significant others just so I could post really cute videos of myself expressing affection on their Facebook walls.

I would be in my PJs, or maybe just a wife beater and some old gym shorts, so everybody would know how down-to-earth our relationship is/I am. They'd wish they had that kind of intimacy with their significant others/were in a relationship with me, because we don't need to hide our feelings from society/the camera loves me.

People will see us/me in public and feel a great surge of warmth pulse through their bodies/want to engage in down-to-earth sex.

They'd know that our relationship/my body is full of quirk and whimsy/looks good in a thin coat of sweat, and that we/I share many personal inside jokes/work out.

So when's it gonna be my time to show you/everyone how I'm "the one"/great masturbation fodder? When's that little black dot at the top center of my computer screen gonna bring us/me closer together/international acclaim?

I have so much love to give, but I just haven't found the right Facebook friend yet.