"AWARENESS"

Contrary to popular belief, the human brain can only process and compartmentalize three items: eating, sleeping, and AIDS awareness.

Proof?

Once I made the mistake of thinking about breast cancer by purchasing a limited-edition pink Swiffer WetJet, and GUESS WHAT!?

Brain overloaded, I forgot to eat, and instead of sleeping, I remained awake for three whole weeks, lubricating, swiffering, and re-lubricating my kitchen floor until I burned a hole through the tiles.

Listen. If you're going to support charitable causes, support the ones spread by monkeys and masturbated on by Bono.

'Cause if it ain't got Bono's seed in it, it's bound to give you [hello! hello!] vertigo. And probs kill you.