"DISTRACTION"

For a long time I thought self-diagnosed ADD was the only thing to blame for never getting anything done.

Boy, was I wrong.

After YEARS spent bartering Adderall in university libraries and spicing up food with ground psychostimulant, what the fuck do I have to show for myself?

Enamel flakes for teeth and no more ability to concentrate?

Listen. The truth is, ADD doesn't exist. Like "cancer," it's just another social trend packaged as "disease."

The only thing really preventing us from getting work done is EXACTLY that image you see above.

YES/DUHHH, DOGS.

Oh, mercy, mercy me. You know I'm not one for final solutions - they've really created some awkward situations in the past - but someone's gotta lay down the law eventually, and that someone is me.

So either we,

1. Execute all dogs.

or

2. Execute each and every human who tweets, Youtubes, or even XANGAs dogs into prominent Internet existence.

Harsh? Perhaps.

But at the end of the day, it's our livelihoods we're talking about.

Is watching hour after hour of sneezing-puppy footage really worth going on welfare and sitting in our own meadow muffins? Or is execution our only way out?